Grief is overwhelming. The emotional overload can be deafening and the confusion so tangible that you cannot make sense of or make decisions that could the course of your life forever. You can feel anything from completely abandoned, completely numb, to not feeling at all. Sometimes you feel all of it together! Often you feel angry. This anger can lead to thoughts like, “Life is not worth living” or “Nothing I do matters anymore!” I want to assure you that life is worth living and everything you do matters.
Grief can feel all-consuming! Your thoughts take on a life of their own, your feelings become negative or weighty, and there doesn’t seem to be any relief from the pain that is always present. The feelings inside of you sometimes spill out onto others causing you to feel even worse. You seem to have no control over what you are saying so you feel like you must isolate yourself from the connections and support that you truly need.
I want to encourage you! You are more resilient than you know. You are stronger than you believe. You are loved and needed more than you realize. You are going through a NORMAL response to a grief event. You can choose to bottle up, push down, and ignore your feelings, and move forward. However, at some point, if you do not deal with your grief your grief will start dealing with you. Depression, anxiety disorders, stress disorders, addictions, alcohol abuse, and even divorce can happen if we do not take the time we need to process our grief emotions.
Journaling our feelings and thoughts provide them a way to be expressed with meaning and understanding. Sharing and expressing those emotions with others helps to validate what we have lost and are experiencing. It also lightens the burden of our grief. In sharing and validating what we are experiencing we gain the courage and freedom to overcome what we are carrying inside of us. Being intentional with your grief emotions gives you a place to release the intensity of what you are carrying in you. Sharing in a grief group can allow you to feel heard. You give your pain a voice that allows your thoughts to become less intense. You can release what you are holding onto so others are included in your journey. Being connected in a group lets other people know that you are ok and builds connections and relationships in ways that are experienced together in a safe and non-judgmental place.
Journaling and sharing build resilience in each other and ourselves! You are ok. You will be ok. What you are experiencing will not last forever. You will find peace, love, joy, and even cherish the memories you have with your loss. I have faith in you. I believe that “not only can we survive, but out of it we create something good… when we can’t believe it yet, we need to ask God to help our unbelief”; this is believing against the grain (p. 53, Experiencing Grief). I believe against the grain for you and your loss. I have seen what happens when someone believed in me in my loss journey. This is something I bring to you in your grief journey! This is grief work that is essential to your future emotional wellbeing. Do not put off today what is meant for you to do today. Engage your overwhelming emotions with intentional goals and you will change your ability to process your pain and loss in a productive way.
Written by Kimberly Talmey
