Christmas and all the holiday cheer are finally over. But now it’s February and with it comes Valentine’s and Family Day celebrations. I don’t know how you are feeling about the month of love, but I still can’t breathe from the losses our family faced in December! I want to scream out “Can’t the world see how my heart is broken, how my soul is shattered? Why won’t the world stop moving forward?” Just maybe you are feeling like this too.
I believe too often we survive on autopilot and denial. There seems to be an expectation in our culture that we should quietly mourn and bury our broken hearts after the funeral services are over. But grief doesn’t heal in isolation and pain that is numbed will surface in other places. No matter what others expect or what society says the pace that you can process the pain and suffering is unique to your relationship with your loss. As we begin to work through our grief, adjusting to a world without our loved ones, often the search for answers will help us grow forward. When you start to hear yourself asking questions about your loss you have started the journey of healing your grief. This is grief growth. This is the work of grief. The pain and suffering move us forward into processing our pain and reconciling the relationship that has been severed. It is a necessary step toward healing the emptiness and finding peace.
While the world is celebrating this month try to remember that one day you will get to the place where you can celebrate the memories and relationship of the person and life you had with the one you lost. While you are mourning, please be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace and find someone safe to talk to when you feel alone. Don’t isolate yourself from the world. Invite safe people into your world. Ask for help. Ask them to just sit with you. Maybe all you need is someone to be there with you. Remember the closer the relationship to our loss the deeper the loss is felt and the longer the road to healing will be. I am here! Encouraging you and the journey you are on so hang in there. The road might be hard to navigate right now but if you persevere the journey will lead you to beautiful new things that only grief can reveal in you. Healed grief speaks hope to our heart and soul and to others who need our encouragement to go on their own grief journey. I want to challenge you this month to reach out and connect with safe people who can encourage and support you in your grief journey. Let’s turn February into a connection month instead of hiding from the pain of our loss and bring change to our perceptions in our culture that says grief should be a private affair.
If you ever find yourself getting stuck on the road to healing or you are concerned in any way about how your grief journey is going, please do not hesitate to reach out for help. I would love to get to know you and your grief journey and celebrate the life and person for whom you cared so deeply for.
You can reach me at Oliver’s Funeral Home: 780-532-2929
Or at Essentials 2 Grief Transformation: 780-814-1224
Written by Kimberly Talmey
